a disaster gone good

So yesterday I was picking up my brother's friend to come over for a sleep over. We went to Blockbuster to pick up a movie. I had my mom's big ukon, and let me tell you, it's pretty impossible to see in that thing. I was in a bit of a hurry, and quickly pulled into a parking spot. Now you see, I am not very good parker to begin with and was way out of the lines. So, I decided to pull out again and fix myself. Well, there was a truck off to the side waiting to go passed me. I decided to wait and let it go first. This truck was just not moving. I was getting a little confused and frusturated with it, so I decided I was just go if it wasn't going to move. I start backing out, keeping my eye on this truck, when all of a sudden errupts blaring horns from all directions. I stop the car very confused and slightly worried, and realize there's a black van pulling out right behind me. Clearly it was my fault, so I flipped the car in drive and flung forward before any more damage could be done. I didn't actually hit the car, but I was so unbelievably close. Being mortified, and really wanting to leave, I got my brother, and his friend, out of the car (still not in a parking spot might I add) and we went into the movie store. They picked out a movie quickly (thankfully) and we left. I was feeling absolutely terrible. I started racking my brain of what I might have done, if I actually hit them..oh it was terrible. Then BAM! on the radio comes Jimmy Needham singing Forgiven and Loved. Oh, I was fighting back tears. Man does God know me well! Jimmy Needham is one of my favorites and that song couldn't have been chosen better. How could I ever deny such a love?

whats next?

My brother has always had a big vocabulary and has always enjoyed reading. Everytime I see him he's reading a new book. He whips through them like crazy! His most recent one is Indian in the Cupboard. He really seems to enjoy it, and is quite excited to see the movie. It won't be long before he finishes, there looked like there was only a couple chapters to go. Actually there is a good possibility he'll finish tonight. I'm in awe of how much he has grown, he's already 10, but has the mind of a 13 year old. He never stops surprising me.

Psalm 104:19-32

The moon marks off the seasons,
and the sun knows when to go down.
You bring darkness, it becomes night,
and all the beasts of the forest prowl.
The lions roar for their prey
and seek food from God.
The sun rises, and they steal away;
they return and lie down in their dens.
Then man goes out to his work,
to his labor until evening.

How many are your works, O Lord!
In wisdom you made them all;
the earth is full of your creatures.
There is the sea, vast and spacious,
teeming with creatures beyond number-
living things both large and small.
There the ships go to and fro,
and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.

These all look to you
to give them their food and the proper time.
When you give it to them,
they gather it up;
when you open your hand,
they are satisfied with good things.
When you hide your face,
they are terrified;
when you take away their breath,
they die and return to dust.
When you send your Spirit,
they are created,
and you renew the face of the earth.

May the glory of the Lord endure forever;
may the Lord rejoice in his works-
he who looks at the earth, and it trembles,
who touches the mountains, and they smoke.


wow.

The Piece of Paper Next to my Computer

"Una persona no hace un viaje,
un viaje hace la persona."
-Katie Cope

I assume it was written for Spanish class, but is still none the less a wonderful quote. It translates to "A person doesn't make the trip, the trip makes the person."
It is a good way to show that our experiences shape who we are. How we go about these experiences, good or bad, show people how we live, or who we live for. People watch other people all the time. They see how they react to scenarios, and see if they would relate to them well. The more you look up to someone the closer you'll watch them. See what they say, how they go about life. I think it's important to watch everyone, not just people you want to get to know better. If you pay attention you can see who is looking for someone to talk to. It's hard to just pass by someone you know is hurting so badly.

to keep my toesies warm..

Did you ever have those ridiculous little pet peeves when you were little? With me I had to have my socks on just right. They had to be on the heel the right way, but more importantly, much more importantly, the toes had to be right. They couldn't be twisted in anyway, and the little bump on the top had to be lined up just right. Plus if where the seam met had too much of a bump I couldn't wear them. It was a challenge being a little girl and putting your socks on, it took me several minutes. They were too uncomfortable if they weren't on right.
All my socks had to have lace on them. The kind that didn't have lace fit funny. So, my mom would buy regular socks and put lace on herself. She used different things like yarn and ribbon. Those socks were better, but they still felt a little funny, not as bad though. Plus my mom put so much effort into making me these socks, I just couldn't tell her they weren't quite the same.
Nowadays, I'm not quite so picky, but it also helps that I can actually put my socks on myself.

lalalalalalalaaaa

Tomorrow night we have a choir concert. It should be a pretty good one because not only are the regular choirs singing, but so are the show choirs. It was interesting practicing for the concert because we haven't done show choir since our competition. It was nice though because we remembered the dances for the most part and didn't have too much to go over. Anyway it should be a pretty good concert, and if you happen to read this before Monday night I invite you to come.

Take one word at a time

We started new small groups at CSI tonight and I joined this one about Paul. It's really interesting because it ties in how Rome is so similar to the way the U.S. is, and is becoming. Tonight it highlighted a few verses in Romans:

They have become filled iwth every kind of wickedness, evil,
greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit,
and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent,
arrogant, and boastful; they invent new ways of doing evil;
they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
Romans 1:29-31

This verse sounds a little harsh, but think about it, I'm sure anyone could think of someone who fills at least one of these categories. Pick any of those words and relate it to today's world. Envy, we want what our best friends has, we beg to have the useless stuff we know we can't afford. Gossips, it's all about that girl in history class who parties every weekend. Funny how this was written for Rome, the power of the world, so many years ago. Who's the power now? We are. Look at how we're abusing this power. Look at the way the media tells us "how we should live". Good example right?
Paul encourages out of so much love and compassion for people, to not fall into the way we are "supposed" to live.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer
your bodies and living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is
your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the
pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good,
pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2

In these verses you can just hear Paul's love. He urges us to offer ourselves, not to conform. He pleads with us. We doesn't want us to fall into the trap. Especially when he knows there is so much more to offer. There is so much to get out of these two verses it would take pages to fully explain. So I encourage you to read them again. Ask God what he means to show through them. Through every individual word.

Not much improved here.

Thinking back several..several..months ago, back to the time where we first started our blogs.. I think the first one I wrote was about my terrible procrastination. I wrote on how I am always procrastinating and really need to work on getting better about doing things earlier. Well lets just say I haven't gotten much better about it. Even now, it's ten o'clock, Sunday night, and I'm just starting to right my blogs, as every Sunday. Right before this even I was doing my math. We got the assignment Thursday and I'm just finishing tonight. I could say that I'm going to fix it and "NO MORE PROCRASTINATING!" but I don't really think I would follow through with that one. I have gotten slightly better over time, not much but there is a little improvement. It would be nice if I could manage my time better, I've always had a problem with that.. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to see how things go.

Something was in the pizza!

This weekend I was in Duluth at a youth conference. Saturday night we got back late and decided to get a pizza. We ate our pizza and talked for a bit, then went to bed. That night I had a dream, more of a nightmare actually. In the dream, one of the leaders went crazy and started trying to kill me. She got a hold of a knife and chased after me with this crazed, demented look on her face. I was backing away trying to reason with her, but nothing was working. She dropped the knife and I picked it up, holding it in front of me still trying to calm her down. But she just kept coming. Then suddenly I not only had the sharp knife but also one of those long bread knives (it was one of those silly dream things where stuff just appears). Her husband was there too and the look on his face! It was unbearable. He was filled with remorse and breaking inside because he knew as well as I did that I would have to kill her..otherwise she would never stop. So I started stabbing her, hoping it would knock her down, give us some more time to reason with her. But it only mad her crazier. She began mocking me saying stuff like "that's all you got" "nice try but I'm still here" her voice was so cynical and her mocking laugh.. I knew the only way to stop her was stab her in the heart, but I tried everything else. I couldn't kill her. Once it got to the point where no one would make it if I didn't kill the heart, I threw the knife at her and she crumpled to the ground.
The next part of my dream was the next day and we were beginning funeral plans. Her husband and I were almost dead ourselves. We didn't say anything, simply because we knew there wasn't anything to say. We knew what happened had to be done, but it was still a lot to go through.
Finally I woke up and my youth pastor (the one who tried to kill me in the dream) walks out of the bathroom and I started blurting out the dream to her. I didn't really realize this was the first thing I said to her until later, but let me just say I wasn't let down for it the rest of the day. Apparently the pizza had something to do with it but that was one of the saddest dreams I've ever had. It's ranked up there with the mad Indian woman (who was also their leader) coming after me. I guess I was her long lost daughter and she was going through all the towns killing everyone until she found me..it was a gruesome dream, but that's another story...

A new 4/20

April 20th is known to some people as a holiday. Sadly it's not a holiday we should be proud of, and is quite disappointing that some people even take this "holiday" seriously. But 4/20 is, national pot day. I don't know much about it but people go out and get crazy high, which typically means canceling any plans for the next day.
This year 4/20 landed on a Monday, the night I have small group. We were talking about this "holiday" and decided to make our own 4/20. We were hoping to make something good out of the situation. We started going through the Bible and looking at all the 4:20s until we found one that started sticking out to us. After a bit of narrowing down we settled on Matthew.

At once they left their nets
and followed him.
-Matt. 4:20

A small and simple verse with so much power behind it. The first two words are convicting. "At once" There was no hesitance in the brothers decision to follow Jesus. They got right up and left. They dropped their nets. The complete source of income. They jumped into following this almost stranger, leaving everything they had to survive. But there wasn't even a second of thought "hey you know I don't really know this guy, maybe I should wait awhile and see what he's really like before I leave everything" No way! They had enough faith in Jesus to leave at once. Could you do that?

Sigh...

I think my brother knows the Easter Bunny isn't real..Okay so I kind of understand this one because he even said the idea of a giant bunny hopping around throwing eggs everywhere, kinda doesn't make sense. But this lead to Santa.. Along with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, he was brought up today. Someone said something bringing up the fact he isn't real while my brother was sitting there. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him just laughing it off and I just couldn't tell if he was trying to be all tough and cool acting like he knew he wasn't real, even though he still did up to that point, or if he actually knew before that. It made me a little said, I know he's in fourth grade and probably knows by now, but I was still holding onto the fact that maybe he didn't yet.. It's just one of those childhood things that I wish lasted forever. I remember when I finally had to admit Santa wasn't real.. I had been resisting the truth about it for quite awhile. Deep down I knew the truth, but i wanted to hold onto it as long as possible. But one year my mom or sister said "you know that Santa isn't real, right?" And that was it. Of course I said yes, but I felt a part of me tear a little. It actually had to be true now..A sigh shook through my body, I couldn't pretend anymore. I guess it has to happen sometimes and now it's over for my brother too, although I suppose it probably has been for a while. He came up with a plan a few years ago to test Santa and see if he was real. He insisted not to tell my mom in case she was the real Santa. A very clever boy he is. I'm not sure if it ever worked, I suppose I may never know. Sigh.. It's always bound to happen sometime, my mom did warn me if Logan didn't know this past year would probably be his last. But I suppose I can always pretend in my mind.. :)

New beginnings

Some of the people on my dad's side came over for Easter today, two of which included my aunt and uncle. Their son, my cousin, and his wife just had a adorable baby girl named Hannah. My aunt and uncle went to visit them recently so they brought pictures for us to look at today. Little Hannah is SO adorable, but what really stuck out to me was the way my aunt talked about the new family member. They had only been there a few days and she already knew so many of those little details that take years to learn. And how proudly she talked about the new family. And being a grandparent doesn't bother my aunt at all, she says it's the best feeling in the world. You can tell she truly believes that. Throughout the whole day you can just see that Hannah was in her mind all the time. It was wonderful seeing my aunt and uncle (yes, he was like this too, just not quite so verbally) so happy. Ecstatic.

Improvements

My family has been working on finishing our basement for some time now. All the walls are painted and the carpet's in. We're just finishing the fireplace, which I must say is pretty cool. It's lined with rock strips, but instead of them going horizontal, we put them vertical. Just to be different. At first I was kind of skeptical about what it would look like, but I figured my mom knew what she was talking about. And now that it's almost done, I really like it. It's exactly what we planned it to be, different. Once the fire place is done we can put the tile in and finish up the bar. The tile is actually made of cement, but I swear you can't even tell. It's a new company that does this kind of flooring. And it's way cheaper to do the floors then regular tile. Plus you can make it as personalized as you want. You just have to pick a pattern, and they'll come lay it out for you. To get the color they just stamp it on, and they have you there when they do it so you can make it the exact way you want it. It's a really neat concept. So, hopefully our basement will be done soon and we can FINALLY get all this dust out of our house..

Club Penguin

Next to the computer sits a tin..can? well no..it's a can but in the shape of a square. On the tin is a little red penguin with a Barney-like smile stamped across it's face. Inside the tin is what really matters. There are trading cards, like Pokemon, but not nearly as awesome. It took weeks to find these cards my brother wanted so desperately for his birthday. We went through tons of stores looking for them. Toys-R-Us, Walmart, and even Best Buy. No luck. Finally we found them. My brother was so ecstatic, it was adorable. He seems to be enjoying them too. I guess you can type passwords that are on the cards into the computer and get stuff for your Penguin. I don't really understand what they do, but my brother seems to be happy.

Blue Zone

I was reading an article about the Blue Zone thing that's coming to Albert Lea and it's pretty interesting. I didn't really know anything about it, but the whole concept is pretty well thought through. It says that diet and exercise aren't the only thing to a healthy lifestyle. Those are really important too, but there's other stuff like friends, communicating with your family, and having religious beliefs that are high on the list too. It makes sense if you think about it. I just think it's pretty cool how all those things can effect your life that much. It kind of gives you a new way to look at things.

We are a BIG nation

In this book I'm reading it gave a bunch of facts about America and it's wealth. It was talking about the amount of oil we use every day, it also compared the U.S.' oil use to the other 2 leading countries..

Japan: 5.5 million barrels a day

China: 5.6 million barrels a day

the United States?...: 20 million barrels a day

20 million barrels a day? that's almost 4 times as much as the 2nd leading country. The book goes on to say that we use 25% of the oil, but only have 3% of the reserves to get the oil. So we import it. We import 54% of our oil, mostly from the Persian Gulf. We march in there with a piece of paper saying we have the right to take as much of their oil as we so please. As someone in my group pointed out: If China came waltzing in on America with a little piece of paper saying they could freely take the whatever oil they wanted, we would have no problem sitting back saying, "Hey no problem, help yourself." No way! We'd send them back on their ships telling them they better not even try again.

I think we need to just step back and relax a little, otherwise we're going to fall even harder than we are. We need to get on a smaller horse, cuz if America falls..everyone falls.

Yo ho YO ho a pirates life for me!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I could be on a pirate ship.
With my first mate Jippy 'O skip.
Three days we sail
NEVER to fail!
We steal the loot
from those who snoot
I bought a lamb
and a jar of jam
I always buy a lot
to fill my mother pot.

I will go

At church tonight the worship band played a song we learned at Nationals this past summer called "I Will Go". The chorus goes like this:

I will go, I will go
I will go Lord send me
to the world, to the lost
to the poor and hungry.
Take everything I am
I'm clay with in your hands
I will go, Send me

Tonight as we were singing this song I couldn't help but cry at the change you could feel going through everyone's' hearts. Everyone around me was singing their lungs out, praising God and calling on Him to change their lives. It took my breath away, hearing and feeling everyone's passion. It was very much a God moment.

Don't just sit around.

This weekend was Kids Against Hunger. There has been a lot of talk about how we should be helping people in our own community instead of other places in the world. I think makes sense, but why can't we do both? The people in Haiti can't get their own food, and it's amazing how we are helping them, but we can also do something for the people around here. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to whether we should help in our area, or somewhere else. I just think the wrong answer is to do nothing.

On a happier note..:)

I was sitting in my brother's room last night, he was reading and I was slowly taking my time to say goodnight. I was sitting on the other bed in his room when I noticed a book he had written as one of his school projects. I didn't even know he had written a book. It was hand-drawn/written and was hard cover and everything. Might I just say it was really cool. It was great to read, and it started out talking about our family, then our pets. Then for some reason out of nowhere it went into a rampage about video games. And Logan starts using all these big words I don't even know, and explaining all these tricks you can do. It was quite the book. Plus it was really cool he got to do that. The company that runs it even put a little note in the back to the parents telling them some of the stuff the kids got to experience while making the book. It's a great idea, and i think it really helps the kids feel accomplished.

Pomie

My family has been taking care of my grandma's dog since she has been in a nursing home. They won't let her keep the dog, but he can visit during the day. It's been really hard on my grandma because all she had left was her dog. My grandparents divorced when my dad was somewhere in his late teens or twenties, and eventually all her kids moved out. It's been a tough transition for both my grandma and her dog. She keeps talking about how it's tough to be without Toby, her dog, and she can't wait to move out of there so she can have him back. She says she feels perfectly fine and isn't sick, so she doesn't get why they're keeping her there... my grandma has Alzheimer's. It's been really hard watching her lose her memory. She can remember the past okay, but not much of the present. Just recently her past is starting to get foggy too. We went out for ice cream to celebrate my birthday, she asked my dad what grade my brother was in, but she couldn't even remember his name. And now her dog is barking like crazy, and all I can think about is my poor grandma trying to get to sleep, wishing she had her little white dog next to her. I just don't know what to do.. conversations are hard, they seem to consist of the same thing, over and over. If you happen to be reading this, can you pray for my grandma? It would really mean a lot, even if you're not really into that whole thing. Thanks.

Puff!

In the blog I wrote before this I mentioned a book a recently started reading, and in the book they mentioned something about this machine that blows air at you. The airports won't tell you what it's for or really what to do, you just kinda have to figure it out yourself. It said something about testing for bombs or something. I was talking to someone after and they said there are things like that which test for drugs. I thought that was really interesting, and I kind of had a sudden urge to try one. It would be a really odd first experience. You walk in..get puffed with random air spurts, then this door opens with a mesmerizing green light above it and this deep man voice going, "You may now exit". And me I'm just picturing some guy with a cheesy smile, and maybe he'd even do the little Wink-Nod with his fingers in the shape of guns, pointing.. and nodding..and pointing....and nodding.....I'm like "Whoa! hey buddy, put 'em down before you shoot someone!"
I don't know about you, but I think this would be something worthy of "The list of things you want to do before you die".
I guess they have them in Detroit..so..road trip anyone?

just a thought to ponder..

We started small groups tonight at CSI, and I'm in a group that's going through a book called "Jesus Wants to Save Christians". I don't know much about the book but I'm pretty excited to get started! I've heard from a couple people that it's really good and really makes you think. For what i do know is that the book relates Exodus to today's life (I'm not 100% sure on that part but I think so..). We read through the intro and the first chapter tonight and it was pretty interesting. It talked about how even the first family was corrupt. This family moved from Eden; the most indescribable place ever to be on earth. They moved eastward and started cities, and eventually those cities became corrupt. Then the chapter went on to mention how we go through all these things at airports ("random" security checks, metal detectors, "The Wand" etc..) but we think nothing of it. We don't even complain because it's for our safety and we need to catch our plane anyway. Then later we go on and listen to the tv and all it is telling us is about the good,or bad.. things going on throughout the world. Do you ever realize how we never really think anything of this? It's kind of outrageous come to think of it..
Well anyway, I'm really excited to see what else God has stored for me in this book!

What a day it will be when I can run into the arms of my Savior!

Isn't it funny how some people can get so caught up in the world..I won't lie it happens to me too, but if you think about it, it's pretty ridiculous. What does the world really have to offer us, a few dollars? which we all know will just cause stress whether we have any or not. All these..objects. Given to us by God, but idolized too far to the point of destruction. Tearing people apart limb by limb, little by little, until they feel they have nothing left to give. All they have left to do is give up and call it quits. It breaks my heart to think of these people and for them to not know what they're missing! A crazy, everlasting, heart-pounding love. A love you can't find in those "Special Friends", husbands, wives, even your family. A love filled with forgiveness, no matter how badly you screwed up this time. The Love I'm talking about only comes from the true Lover. He wants this intimate relationship with you, but because we can't physically see God as we see people, it is so much easier to give that love to something/someone else. And you may be going "yeah, yeah I've heard this whole thing before. I tried talking to God, but got nothing back.."
And I could keep trying to convince you that the whole time you were talking, God was answering, but you just weren't listening. He was just doing it in ways you weren't expecting. And man, I've had such a hard time with this myself! You can't imagine how long it's taken me to hear God's voice. I still have trouble with it sometimes, and I'm certainly not saying I'll never have a hard time again, but God is showing me all His unbelievable voices, I just have to be open to listening.
I can try drilling all these things into your head, but until you truly experience it for yourself all I can give you are words. But this Love is, outstanding. To say the least. It makes you want to jump up and run to all the people you love, squeeze them in a giant bear hug, and kiss them on the cheek telling them you love them, because Christ loves you throughout eternity. While at the same time you want to hide in a corner and cry the happiest tears that have ever flown from your eyes. The Love my Lover has shown me makes it hard to wait until the moment run to Him in all His glory. Waiting for the moment I can feel the perfect hug..

trying to shake the Christmas blues

My family can't seem to shake off the Christmas spirit. We seem to be prolonging it as much as possible. All day we have been singing Christmas carols, even now as I type my sister is singing jingle bells. We still have our Christmas tree up, we still have the Christmas dishes in the cupboards, and we have Santas all over the counter. I'm not really saying anything because I love Christmas, but I do admit it is kinda getting ridiculous. Then again, it hasn't even been a month yet so we still have time. ;)
Just look at how many times I've said Christmas in this blog.. oh dear. :) Well, I guess all I can do is start getting excited for next year!

good bye dear friend.

As it withers away I start to tear
I'm sorry you must go, my poor dear.
You stood there all day, forever all night
But never once did I begin to fright.
You bring back great memories some old and some new,
You bring us our childhood, the one that blew.
Blew to the back of our minds
only to be found by one of your kinds.
We stare through your bottom seeing never-ending lights

Oh my friend, what a sight!
You start to fall now, one little fraction at a time
And all I can give is this little rhyme.

It was someone's home before it joined mine
and will start again with just a small pine.
In a few days it will be striped away
but oh my will it forever stay.
My thoughts begin to soar
of my Christmas tree forever more.

and just a hint of summer

The other day the girls in my family went shopping and my sister got these flip flops. I know its winter but they were on sale for like $4 so she got them anyway. They're super sweet! they are yellow and have these big-honkin' beads on them. yeah they're pretty cool. (I can't wear them though because they look really funny on me). The weird thing about them is they have this squishy padding on the top, which makes sense for comfort reasons, but it only goes down to where the balls of your feet would be. So your poor little toes are going to get blisters all over them from the plastic because they didn't put the squishy stuff all the way down..OUCH! But I'd still say they're pretty awesome anyway.

let it snow let it snow let it snow

i love winter break! its great..hmm.. :)
it makes me really sad we have to go back to school tomorrow. i don't actually mind school, but it's SO hard to get up in the morning. I think maybe we should start later. But then again if you start later we get home later, and I already don't get home until it's dark out (which is what? 430 now?). So I guess it doesn't really matter. well anyway break was great! My moms side came to our house over Christmas and then a few days after we went to Omaha for one of my cousin's deb. ball. it was really fun because the music was all jazzy and they did this little dance thing, it was great!

Over new years I had some friends over and we watched movies all night (but of course we watched the ball drop too!) at 11 though.. my parents left at like 3 in the morning because my mom took my dad on a surprise trip for his 50th bday. which is actually on the 22nd this month. they got back today around 4 and are pretty tired but they seemed to have a good time anyway.